Ruining Everything: The Seven Step Guide
In order to successfully ruin your dog, you MUST complete these seven steps:
1. “Puppyignoritis”. Ignore every behavior your puppy displays. After all, if you correct him for behaviors like jumping and teething now, he’ll just fall back into the same pattern later on– so it doesn’t matter if you correct him for it now.
2. Use different corrections every time. If you use the same correction for your dog’s disobedient behavior every time, you’ll probably get bored and teach your dog to be bored as well. Make sure to mix it up.
3. Use long, complicated commands. When you teach your dog a command, make sure it involves at least four words and preferrably several diverse hand motions and body movements. If you don’t show your dog that you mean business, he won’t take you seriously.
4. A dog’s age doesn’t matter. I guess I did say to ignore your puppy when he acts badly, but dogs have small brains that finish developing pretty quickly. You should start using your training techniques as soon as you can.
5. Don’t pay any attention to what those other trainers say. Scolding and hitting your dog is often the only way to actually train him. Dogs are stupid creatures that oftentimes require brute force to understand what you’re trying to get them to do.
6. Don’t spend any more time around your dog then you have to. Dogs tend to grow sentimentally attached to people, and if you spend too much time around your dog, he will be more likely to disregard your commands. This is a teacher-student relationship, not a friend-friend relationship.
7. Don’t correct for the same thing every time. You’re wasting your time if you correct a dog for bad behavior EVERY single time he commits the crime. He’s just trying to test you. If you ignore him, he’ll stop peeing on the floor and chewing your favorite shoes in no time.
Originally uploaded by funkyleephotography
I hope you detected the sarcasm in this post. Here are the seven fail-safe steps to ruining your dog training efforts:
7. “Puppyignoritis”: Letting your puppy get away with things when they are young, like jumping and teething, will make un-training those tendencies much harder later on.
6. Using different corrections: If you take a spray bottle to your dog one day as a form of “No” and then use a prong or choke collar the next, your dog won’t get the point: you’re teaching him that what he just did is wrong. If you’re constantly trying to use different signals to communicate that, he will be too busy trying to interpret all those signals instead of understanding that you’re teaching him what not to do.
5. Using lots of words and inconsistent signaling: When you use different signals and expect the same thing, do you think your dog is going to be able to figure out what you want from him nearly as easily? He may one day succeed, but you’re throwing a godzilla-sized monkey wrench into your training efforts if you don’t make your commands short, simple, and consistent.
4. Not taking your dog’s age into consideration: There is a huge difference between what a puppy will respond to and understand vs. what an adult dog will respond to and understand. Know the difference and train accordingly!
3. Scolding and hitting as a punishment: When correcting a dog for a DISOBEDIENT behavior (meaning that you know your dog knew what you were asking of him and he ignored or disregarded your request), shouting and hitting are definitely two of the worst approaches you can take. When you scold and shout, your voice tends to rise and fall, which is interpreted differently in a dog’s mind than one firm “No”. Plus, your agitation will only confuse and scare your dog. When you hit a dog, the only thing you’re training him to do is AVOID you because you’re mean and nasty and when he is around you, he’ll probably get hit for something. Use ONLY one type of correction and do it consistently every time.
2. Neglect: Your dog needs to learn who you are AND VICE VERSA if you ever want to be successful in dog training. Neglect and lack of social contact is also a HUGE problem-causer when it comes to dogs developing bad behavior. So spend time with him!
1. Inconsistency: The biggest tendency that almost everyone falters on when it comes to dog training. If you don’t correct your dog and teach him the right way to act EVERY SINGLE TIME, he won’t obey your command EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s that simple.
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-Lauren
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